Tag Archives: Managing MS

Important Things Others Should Know about Chronically ill People

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“An Educating Tool”

I was in the middle of writing a blog about what folks with MS really need from others when I came across this pin I found on Pinterest. What an extraordinary pin to share with my peers!

Because I still look so good after all these years and rarely complain, people around me sometimes still don’t seem to understand my difficulties since MS is invisible, unpredictable, and interfering. And it is probably because I am so good at the way I manage this disease, despite the fact that I use a wheelchair. I make it look so easy, when the truth is, it can be a real bitch.

For people who are just learning about how to live with a person with MS or who is chronically ill, a copy of this will be a good, educating tool.

“People with chronic pain and illness want everyone in their lives
to know these important things about them…”


1. Don’t be upset if I seem on edge. I do the best I can every day to be “normal”. I’m exhausted and sometimes I snap.

2. I find it very hard to concentrate at time for a lot reasons. Pain, drugs, lack of sleep… I’m sorry if I lose focus.

3. Letting my loved ones and friends down by cancelling plans is heartbreaking to me. I want more than anything to be as active as you and do the things I used to do.

4. My health can change daily. Sometimes hourly. There are a lot of reasons this happens. Weather, stress, flare-ups…I can assure you that I hate it as much as you do.

5. I don’t like to whine. I don’t like to complain. Sometimes I just need to vent. When this happens, I am not asking for pity or attention. I just need an ear to bend and a hand to hold.

6. During rough times, I find it hard to describe how bad it is. When I say “I’m fine” and you know I am not, it’s okay to ask questions. Just be prepared if the flood gates open because “I’m fine” is often code for “I’m trying to hold it together, but having a rough time. I’m on the edge.”

7. If I am hurting bad enough to tell you about it without being asked, please know that it’s REALLY bad.

8. When you reach out to me with suggestions to help me feel better, I know that you mean well. If it was as simple as popping a new pill, eating differently or trying a different doctor, I’ve most likely already tried it and was disappointed.

9. All I truly want from you is friendship, love, support and understanding. It means everything to me.

10. When someone gives me a pep talk, I understand the sentiment. Chronic illness just doesn’t go away. I wish it did, too! I appreciate your wanting the best for me, but save the pep talk for the gym or the kids’ next volleyball game.

11. It hurts worse than you can possibly imagine when I’m thought of as lazy, unreliable, or selfish. Nothing is further from the truth.

12. I do a lot of silly things to distract myself because any part of my life not consumed with pain is a good part.

13. The simplest tasks can completely drain me. Please know that I do the best I can every day with what I have.

14. Come to me with any questions you may have about my condition. I love you and would much rather tell you about this face to face without judgment.

After all these years I have lived with MS, I may put this on my refrigerator at times; or give a copy of this to the forgetful numbskull or the insensitive ostrich that has their head in the sand! (Yes, I think we all have a person or two like this in our lives.) And, the next time someone says “What’s wrong with you?!” I think I will tell them to read #___.

www.DebbieMS.com
Author/MS Counselor/Living with MS

Making Decisions when Managing MS

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In many online MS discussion groups, participants discuss what is the best thing to do or take for MS, and what is “bunk.” Subjects range from treatments, diet, and stress to exercise, experimental drugs and alternative medicine.

If one seeks information from MS organizations or medical websites, the standard directive is “ask your doctor.” But realistically, if you ask your doctor, most will recommend drugs. Drugs for symptoms, for relapses, and long-term DMD treatments. There are two reasons for this:

1. What else can they do for you in the fifteen minutes that they see you? They can’t cure you but they will want to make you feel better and try to prevent you from getting worse. In addition, doctors certainly don’t have the time to educate you or answer a lot of questions. They will refer you instead to physical/occupational therapy, pain clinics, etc.

2. Relative to prescribing drugs, doctors depend on the scientific evidence of these substances. They will send you off with scripts for tests initially and ongoing. Relative to body wellness for MS, while they would agree that exercise and proper diet is good for you, they will not specifically address these topics because there has not been enough scientific evidence done to determine their positive/negative impact on MS. So again, the patient is referred elsewhere.

Everyone’s body and MS are unique, and everyone responds differently to anything you take or do to your body. No two cases are alike in response to these actions just like no two cases of MS are alike. While some things work for some, often they don’t work for others.

So, when you need to make a decision regarding something about your MS and are stuck, what should you do?

Personally, I practice common-sense, logic, and balance for both my body’s wellness and medications I choose to use. I ask myself these questions:

• Does it make me feel better?

• What are the short/long term risks of doing or not doing something?

• Do the benefits outweigh the risks that I am willing to take?

• Am I doing everything I can possibly do to prevent infections, sickness, falls…?

• Did I gather enough research from reliable sources to help me make my decision?

There is no question that proper diet, exercise, sleep, stress management, weight control, etc. are essential for vital body functions and helping to manage/control MS. This is true for a person without MS, but especially important for a MS patient to help managing/controlling their disease.

I am open-minded and listen to others in online discussions as part of my personal research for making my own decisions about managing my MS. I dig through the internet for studies and statistics. And I consult with doctors and other health care professionals for their insights; but a health professional is not my only source of action or fact-finding, giving him/her a carte blanche.

Then I document and keep journals of what I do and what the effects are.

There are no absolute rights or wrongs. I know my body well, but I leave myself open to trying something new if I feel it is safe and I have nothing to lose by trying. Like everyone else with MS, I want to feel better and get better.

One rule I follow for myself with regard to making any decisions about anything: “When in doubt—don’t!” I can always revisit the situation later.

Ultimately, decisions are made by me. I only have one body and am the one who has to live with it.

www.DebbieMS.com
Author, MS Counselor, Living with MS

Growing Old with Multiple Sclerosis

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“A Double Whammy”
June 5, 2014

It has been awhile since I posted my last blog article. The pace of my postings has slowed over the months. And the pace of everything I do has slowed.

Staring out into my yard one day, the realization really struck me: I’m getting old! Next birthday I’ll be sixty, with over half my life living with MS. It is taking me longer to do things. Napping and resting more each day is necessary. There are many things I cannot do alone anymore and I need to wait for someone to help me. All these things eat up the minutes of my day.

Two things happen when you grow older with MS.

1. Normal people start experiencing many things that a person with MS may have been experiencing already: leaky bladders, less balance and coordination, weakness, fatigue, less strength and endurance, cognitive issues. Aging compounds MS symptoms. Wow—a double whammy. I personally noticed increased fatigue and weakness when I became post menopausal 1 ½ years ago.

2. With MS, it is always tricky trying to figure out what is causing what; is the MS acting up on its own, or is it re-acting to something else. There is substantial interplay between physical, emotional, and mental health. When you grow older, it becomes trickier, since age and hormonal changes (e.g. menopause) affects many things that MS affects. For example, are cognitive problems a new symptom of MS, or is it due to aging?

With regard to #2, I decided, at this point, why care about figuring what is causing what? The focus now should be what can I do to help these things as opposed to asking why is this happening. Like doing mental exercises and adjusting my exercise programs to maintain strength, endurance, etc.

Point number #1 has been a difficult adjustment for me. This year has been quite busy with numerous things. In addition to my regular household responsibilities, I became involved in helping four immediate family members with serious (separate) problems, had out-of-town guests, and did extra MS-related counseling and events—all in addition to trying to maintain my own MS-related issues (doctors, tests, new adaptive equipment, etc.).

My life has always been this way. Busy, helping out, achieving, overcoming obstacles… People depending on me more often than I ever depended on them. And that was okay because that is the type of person I am.

But–

Lately, everything changed. My brain went fuzzy. Motivation to go anywhere or do anything stopped. I didn’t exercise, and lost strength. All I wanted to do was sit or sleep.

My MS symptoms worsened. I was mentally, emotionally, and physically drained from things going on in my life. I’m tired, feel hurt and deflated. Like someone pulled the plug out of me. I didn’t make a conscientious decision to shut things down; my body forced it on me.

Some folks have an easier time “letting things go”, or have financial resources to help get things done around the house. Others, like me, don’t.

The MS in my life has made me grow older faster. Not on the outside—everyone still tells me “how good I look” and not nearly my age. But I feel like I am eighty and my body certainly functions like it. Actually, my body has been functioning like an eighty-year old for at least the last twenty years. So, I guess maybe I’m maybe pushing the century mark?

That’s the downside of getting old with MS. Like an old car, things are wearing out, breaking down and going slower. Lots of dents and bruises. Worn out from all the miles travelled at an age younger than the average normal, healthy person.

But there’s definitely an upside. All those miles travelled with MS and age brings with it a lot of wisdom, strength and experience. As I sat in my yard reflecting on my life, I started making a list of what the upsides of MS are/were for me, and I am sure others as well:

• I’m a survivor and a success. I focused on what I was able to do, not what I couldn’t do. As a mother, teacher, and educated businesswoman I learned to manage my life with MS while sharing and supporting others: my entire family, friends, children, teens, persons living with all types of illnesses/disabilities and the elderly. I did this voluntarily through my daily life—listening, sharing, talking, speaking, writing, letters, phone calls, cards, social media, holding hands and giving hugs. All for free.

The upside? Priceless payback in knowledge, personal growth and problem solving acquired from all the interactions. I have found that so many people who acquired MS are of this same nature. Positive achievers. The irony of getting MS altered my personal life actually for the better in terms of my life’s goals and direction.

• I never took things for granted and always appreciated so many people and things in my life. A sunrise, an outing with a friend, the hand controls in my car, my freedom from living in the U.S… Being wealthy or keeping up with the Joneses didn’t matter. I was satisfied with what I had. MS, or any chronic illness can make you be this way. You don’t lose sight of what really matters in life.

• You can’t recover an opportunity after it is missed or time after it has passed. Whenever possible, I strived to enjoy as many things as I could. One never knows what the future holds or how fragile life can be. Having MS or another major health issue will do that to you.

Life can turn on a dime, as the saying goes. My awesome sixteen-year old nephew was in an accident and was brain dead for twelve days before he passed. My dad died of a heart attack in 1972 at age 45 when I was seventeen. An acquaintance of mine fell out of a tree and became a quadriplegic in his forties. I lost one of my best friends of cancer at the age of forty-nine. My husband and I were caretakers for his bedbound and blind grandmother for fifteen years. The list goes on…

• Living with MS taught me how to take care of body and protect it. Eating, sleeping and exercising properly. Using walking aids. Maintaining good health and avoiding drugs, smoking, and taking huge risks. I paid attention to my body. When I was 32, I took quick action for a weird-looking mole on my back, only to find out that I had malignant melanoma and would have died six months later otherwise.

My internist jokes that I am healthier than most people he sees all day! I got results back today on thorough blood work, and everything was normal. (Too bad my sensory and motor functions are a MeSs!)

• I have the virtues of patience, empathy, compassion. I became a whiz with commonsense, logic and communications. I fight for what is right and what I am entitled to.

• I am an expert in managing MS. Though MS took control of my life at times, I knew how to get back in control.

I recently called an old friend of mine whose husband died unexpectedly last month. She has had MS over thirty years, is seventy years old and her hubby was her loving caretaker. Being a fellow old veteran MS buddy of mine for 25 years, I wanted to check in on her now that all of the memorial activities have ceased and the reality of her new situation has begun.

We talked about her present position and future plans, about MS, and so many other things. There are quite a few things I would like to share about our conversation that I believe is worthy for someone with or without MS at any age to think about.

• It’s essential to have a solid network of friends and family. You just never know if your caretaker will pass or leave you. “J” is ambulatory, but she does have her limitations in other ways because of MS. J has no children. Though dependent on her husband whom she had a loving relationship with, she maintained her independence as much as possible. One of my favorite expressions is “Use your mouth and your intelligence”, and J does that. Her wonderful circle of support helped her with the memorial and the aftermath of things to do. Going forward, her “circle’ will help out with her car and her house.

• It’s important to have a plan in place in the event your caretaker/significant other leave before you do. Where would you live? Who could take care of what? Plans should involve short and long-term healthcare, short and long-term finances, wills, living wills, medical powers of attorney, memorial desires in writing.

• Do you know where to find important information, or how to do things your significant other does? For example, my husband knows all about the “outside” of the house (e.g. circuit breakers, timers, sprinklers, all of info about our RV…) and I don’t. I know all about the household finances, taxes, investments, insurance, where all the important documents are kept and he doesn’t. We need to find the time to educate each other.

• It is never too early to know how to take care of yourself and depend on yourself financially. When my dad died, there were three of us kids and my mother was a homemaker. I learned early to work, get a college education and into a high-paying career field, save and invest. Good thing. I got MS in my twenties. One never thinks it will happen to him/her.

• Age is wisdom. J and I talked about how well we know what is best for us and how we have the confidence to trust our intuition and judgment in making decisions. We also know when to reach out to a person we can trust to discuss something with. After all, two heads can be better than one.

For instance, J mentioned that her neurologist is pushing her to switch her DMD from Avonex (requiring a weekly injection but working well for her) to a newer oral treatment. Her answer? “NO! I know my body, and I don’t want any new drug with new, unknown side effects and more MRI monitoring.” She asked me what I thought about her decision.

• Finally, WE are in charge of our own bodies. At a recent visit to a new internist, I declined a bone density test, Pap smear, mammogram, colonoscopy, and two vaccinations. After explaining why, she accepted what I had to say, and said she will always work with me.

Getting older is a welcome if you have your health. The truth is, living with MS is very hard. As I get older, it is getting harder and more complicated. I get tears in my eyes when I see commercials of happy senior citizens in active adult communities.

I’m in the so-called Golden Years and retirement. It’s time to let more things go and make the most of it. This doer part of my personality needs to be turned down lower to control my self-induced stress. I just booked a cruise to Hawaii, while I have the opportunity and the time.

Now I am going to fix myself a margarita and watch the hummingbirds on my patio. And not think.

www.DebbieMS.com
Author/MS Counselor/Living with MS

MS and Your Relationships

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“Strategies & Tips”

On February 15th, I facilitated a workshop entitled “MS and Your Relationships” in Phoenix. The workshop was part of Genzyme’s One Day for Every Day Event. This is a summary of that workshop, as I want to share this information with a larger audience.

I began by telling the attendees that a one-hour timeframe was not enough for this big, important subject. It’s bad enough that everything about MS is complex, from the diagnosis to the symptoms; after all, the nervous system is involved. But people are highly complex too because of their thoughts and emotions. So when you put the two subjects together—yikes!!

Just about everyone in the room with MS was there with someone else—either a spouse, sibling or friend. This was good because everyone living with the MSer is also living with MS. And that goes beyond the immediate family.

My presentation was to discuss communication strategies and tips to create a foundation of open and honest communication. I adjusted this goal to first, make the group interactive, and second, address two other critical aspects of relationships: support and knowledge.

• Support and knowledge reduce the fear one has with an MS diagnosis. The more you have of both, the better chance you have to survive this disease. One has to be careful though where one gets the knowledge since because of social media, there is much information available today that can be overwhelming and inaccurate.

• Since MS is still a lifetime illness, knowledge and support will change many times as time marches on due to disease progression and lifetime changes that will occur.

• Everyone in the room needs it; everyone outside the room needs it. What is NOT a strategy? Doing nothing—doing no communicating, obtaining no knowledge, getting no support. Anyone dealing with MS will not survive it if none of these are done.

Who are the relationships the person with MS interacts with? What do we say to whom? Who do need support from?

• Family: partners, children, parents, siblings (Needs communication at appropriate level; “show & tell” is a great game to play to help a non-MSer understand invisible symptoms. For example, have men walk in spike heels to understand balance issues; put 10-lb, weights around ankles to experience walking heaviness and fatigue; put a knit glove on a person and have them find objects in a purse like tissue, quarters, etc.)

• Friends (How much you share depends on depth/closeness of friends.)

• Workplace people: boss, colleagues, human resources (very subjective area—many reasons to disclose or not to disclose)

What groups were missing from the power point slide in the presentation that are just as important?

• Peers (They are a lifeline for both MSers and non-MSers—someone you can easily relate to because they are “in your shoes.”)

• Healthcare team (Make sure all of them understand and have experience with persons with MS!  For example, a physical therapist needs to understand the effects of heat and fatigue of MS. Also, you need to like and trust your neurologist; if you don’t, fire him/her and get another one, as this is a lifetime, crucial relationship.)

• Strangers (I have had to ask strangers for help many times since I had mobility problems since my early years. For example, helping me reach something in a grocery store, or assisting me in a dressing room. People in general–in all of the above groups too–like and want to help. It makes them feel good, and they hate to see someone struggle. Personally, I will let people help even if I don’t necessarily need it!)

• Pets (Wow—they understand/comfort us the most, don’t they?!)

I had all eyes on me from my audience, and many nods or claps. It was interesting to see hands go up when I asked how many felt they needed better support in various groups or who didn’t like their neurologist.

Talk is good, even if it doesn’t solve anything. It feels good to get things off our chest. I have an old MS buddy who called me recently and asked, “Can you talk to me? Is this a good time?” But if there is someone like a stranger or a fellow employee who asks you something that you don’t want to talk about, just simply say: “It’s a long story…”

Venting is also good, as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone. For example, when I get stressed out or frustrated, I cry or call a close friend of mine who is a peer. My husband on the other hand will yell or throw things in an un-harmful way. We go our separate ways to vent because I don’t like his yelling, and he doesn’t like my crying. When the steam is released from the pressure cooker, everything calms down. Holding things inside without a release is dangerously stressful, and we all know how stress negatively affects MS.

What if the people we need to talk with will not communicate or talk? Then it is essential to find someone who will…

In the beginning of my MS, my family was in denial. I went straight to the local chapter of the National MS Society to get literature and meet others who had MS. Later, when both my husband and my mother wouldn’t talk to me about my MS, I went to a therapist who understood MS to help myself deal with these two close people in my life. Years later, I went to a therapist again when deciding whether to give up my career. My MS was aggressive and it was progressing rapidly.

There’s no question that people living with a person with a chronic illness such as MS, is also living with it too. While open communication is essential for all involved, it unfortunately doesn’t always happen effectively without having an “outside” person/s involved. Perceptions are different, emotions are involved, and more often than not, negative consequences result. Ideally, partner/family counseling is essential in most cases.

Realistically, there are obstacles with professional counseling. The first is that many people–whether they have the illness or not–do not want to go to counseling. This was the case in my own personal situation and though I pleaded with my family to go, it didn’t happen. So I went to counseling on my own and fortunately, it helped me tremendously to figure out how to handle my family relationships and how and where I could get support that I needed. Secondly, I believe it is imperative that a good, reputable therapist who UNDERSTANDS MS is found. MS is complicated in many ways, is generally progressive, and currently lasts a lifetime. Finally, many people unfortunately cannot afford therapy; however, many county health departments have resources available for financially strapped people.

So what are strategies to foster healthy communication?

• Should you always be honest about your feelings? When I asked everyone in the room if they were ever dishonest about their feelings, every single hand went up! It obviously is a judgment call, depending upon the people involved, and their personalities. With your healthcare team, you need to be honest. With everyone else, the group agreed that you can’t be a constant complainer or whiner. Be selective with whom you are comfortable with and trust to discuss your concerns, problems, fears, etc.

• Keep a journal about important things that need to be communicated, whether it is info to discuss with your doctor, modifications that need to be made at work, or just notes about what you want to talk about.

• Pick an appropriate time and place for a discussion. Trying to talk when one is tired, hungry, or stressed out will be a disaster. Try to be in a relaxed frame of mind, when interruptions will not occur.

• Be respectful of what the other person is saying—this is a two-way conversation. Actively listen to each other, and avoid accusations, finger pointing, name calling, yelling, etc. How and what we say matters, as well as the tone that we use. Avoid negativity.

• Two-thirds of communication occurs through body language. Your posture, facial expressions, eye contact, etc. speaks volumes. When someone rolls their eyes or points a finger at you, what does that indicate?

• Ask for help and ask to help. People want to help, and people need help. Be explicit or give examples when talking about this to help clarify your statements. Ask questions and share perspectives. Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. And remember—none of us are mind readers. Not only are you communicating here, you are educating.

• Everyone should show and express their gratitude often. Give complements.

• A hug, kiss or smile goes a long way.

• From experience, I believe that we MSers set the tone and comfort level. If we are relaxed and open, the other person will be too.

• My personal advice to all: show and give empathy, not sympathy.

• Use humor when appropriate. Many times, the subject being discussed can be very sensitive and not funny at all. Or, it is hard to be humorous when you are not feeling well.

• Avoid arguing and be patient. If an argument develops or patience is lost, quit the discussion and regroup later.

• Always try. If it doesn’t work, try something else.

Well we ran over our one-hour timeframe, which was no surprise. But it was a start, and I always say that “Getting started with anything is the hard part.” Now everyone has a framework or some ground rules they can try to use to enhance their communication, support and knowledge.

At the conclusion, I gave everyone a copy of a previous blog that I had written entitled “MSers and Their Loved Ones.”

www.DebbieMS.com
Author, MS Counselor/Living with MS

Please visit my website for more articles, videos, my book, MS information and resources.

 

 

MS Blogs

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January 12, 2014

I am proud to announce that my MS Blog was selected for Neurology Now Magazine’s list of Patient Bloggers! http://journals.lww.com/neurologynow/Fulltext/2013/09060/Neurology_News__Having_Their_Say___Patient.16.aspx

Neurology Now Magazine:
December/January 2013 – Volume 9 – Issue 6 – p 14

Neurology News: Having Their Say: Patient Bloggers

“While your doctors can give you information and guidance about your condition, they’re not always the best source for practical advice. Patient bloggers offer that in spades as they chronicle their own journey with neurologic disease—sometimes funny, sometimes painful, but above all else, familiar. We tried to find blogs that are well-written, honest, and responsible in the way they handle medical information.”

Neurology Now is sponsored by the American Academy of Neurology and the American Brain Foundation. Free for subscribers, information is provided about various neurological problems in their publications. Included in each of their issues are also stories written about individuals—both well-known and unknown—who are dealing with a disorder/disease successfully. Here is a link to check it out http://patients.aan.com/index.cfm?axon=redirect&&path=/go/neurologynow  .

Also check out my 57 articles within this blog at the bottom of this blog page, as well as my website that contains much info about multiple sclerosis www.DebbieMS.com .

Best-

Debbie
Managing MS, Straight Talk…

Prednisone & Corticosteroids: Helpful Tips

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“What doctors/pharmacists don’t tell you.”

January 3, 2014

It is amazing how frequently the subject of steroids comes up. Just in the last two weeks, three people told me they were on prednisone and they were all irritable about the side effects. One was taking them for sinus problems; another was taking prednisone for arthritis. The third was taking them for an MS flare-up.

They are powerful drugs and are prescribed often for people with and without MS. Why? Because their primary purpose is to reduce inflammation. And inflammation occurs in all parts of the body, and these drugs do help.

But there is much to know about steroids, and unfortunately, the doctor and the pharmacist never tells it all. The first experience with steroids is horrifying to say the least, and creates tremendous confusion and stress. I personally hated them in the beginning, but after I understood my own body’s reactions and the fact that they did work for me, steroids became my friend.

For folks with MS, corticosteroids (“steroids”)—usually Solu-Medrol and prednisone– are used to reduce the duration and severity of a flare-up (or exacerbation, or attack). Solu-Medrol is given intravenously for 3-5 days usually at home (about 1-2 hours per day). Prednisone is given orally usually over a 10-14 day period, beginning with a very high dosage (e.g. 80mg/day works for me) and tapering down the last week to 10 mg. by the last day.

What to know about steroids:

• Again, the purpose of steroids is to reduce inflammation. When the dosage is high, the immune system will become suppressed. Therefore, you want to take all measures to keep your resistance up and your exposure to infections, colds and viruses low. If you currently have an infection or virus causing the flare-up, try to get rid of the infection/sickness before getting on the steroids if possible.

• A very common side effect of steroids is water retention. Eliminate as much salt as you can from your diet while taking them. This goes beyond table salt. Canned, frozen and packaged foods, pickles, condiments, luncheon meats, etc. are loaded with sodium; so avoid these and eat bland and fresh foods. Often, people will get what they call a “moon face”; the face can become full and rounded.

• Appetite usually increases when taking steroids, so stick to snacks like carrot sticks, celery, apples, or unsalted popcorn. The sacrifice of a strict food regime for a maximum of two weeks is well worth the extra pounds you won’t gain and have to worry about later.

• Once you start steroids, follow the complete program and do not just quit taking them. If you do, it can inhibit your adrenal glands from producing the natural amount of cortisol later.

• A universal complaint is insomnia. Speak with your doctor about sleeping pills. Even with a sleeping pill, you may only get four to six hours of sleep. Try to read, do paperwork, or anything that will keep you from dwelling on not sleeping.

• There are many other side effects when taking steroids; the amount, type, duration will be different for everyone. For example, I get supercharged and euphoric when I’m on steroids, especially when they kick in and my symptoms are improving. I also get very constipated. Other frequent complaints include irritability and mood swings. If you are anxious, consider asking your doctor about an anxiety pill to minimize stress.

• For women, it is not proven yet whether steroids affect birth control pills. It is always a good idea to use additional protection while on steroids.

• Try to temper your expectations and not compare yourself to anyone else. Some people respond faster and better than others. Take notes everyday about what is improving, what isn’t, how much… It will help with your next episode. You will learn your own body reactions and patterns as time goes on.

• When a steroid program is finished, a person will often go into drug withdrawal. Symptoms may worsen again, and different side effects can pop up. For me, I get the shakes, anxiety, weepy, acne, some hair loss, sleepy; and my symptoms will be worse than before I even got on the steroids. After my “withdrawal” period, my symptoms will adjust to what will be normal for me; and all of the other side effects from steroids will go away. After having been on steroids on average of twice a year over the course of my MS, I’ve learned what to expect and how to ride it out.

• There are serious side effects to using steroids over a long length of time—like months or even years. These include things such as bone density loss. As always, one needs to weigh the benefits against the positives when taking any drug.

Sometimes, steroids work for a person, and sometimes they don’t. And of course, all people react to a drug differently—both in response to the effectiveness and to the side effects.

All you can do is try. If it works, great; if it doesn’t, well something else will have to be tried to alleviate the problem.

www.DebbieMS.com

Holidays Got you Stressed?

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“Letting Go”

December 20, 2013

After all these years, I still get to the point of total meltdown when in the midst of the holiday season. I know I’m older, I know I have MS, I know people don’t expect me to wait on them or see a perfect house… Yet I still occasionally get that desire way to do things myself–perfectly with ease and energy. It used to be my personality.

Even though I also know those days are long gone, the old personality resurfaces. I still freak out every December as I tearfully stumble through trying to decorate and send cards. When it gets to the point like a balloon getting ready to burst, I have learned what to do for myself.

I had heart-to-heart talks with two friends on Monday, who are sixty-ish and feel like their to-do lists are never completed because of their lack of energy. I talked with my good-humored neighbor, who is legally blind and “gets” what it is like to constantly have to rely on others for help. And then I cried and cried. It all made me feel better. I had to let go and move on.

Between Christmas and over New Years, I will have relatives coming to stay with us for a week. I remembered this article I wrote last summer and re-read it. Good advice; I’m back in the swing of things.

I am re-posting it because I think anyone with MS or a chronic illness would benefit from reading it whether it is for the first time or not. It doesn’t matter what time of the year it is either, though right now is a perfect time to put these things into action.

Managing Overwhelming Circumstances
“Speak Up, Nicely.”
August 13, 2012

It was 117 degrees yesterday, and the weather prediction doesn’t expect the temperature to go down much over the next week. My family from out-of-state is staying with us for the next ten days. Between the heat, fatigue and overwhelming activities under my roof, will I manage? Yes.

How? I learned when to say “yes”, “no”, and “would you please…”

This wasn’t something that came easy to me when I was diagnosed with MS. I was always a very independent person, offering my help to others. It took a long time to use these words in the right manner and circumstance. After all, we are talking about a change in behavior. Changes in behavior do not happen overnight, but it can happen if you want them to.

For me, it wasn’t a conscientious decision on my part to ask for help, accept help, or set limitations. The mounting of excessive fatigue and other interfering symptoms forced me. If I didn’t succumb to changing my behavior in this way, I would not have survived my MS.

Not only is it essential to me, it’s essential for my friends and family, too. In the beginning, they wanted to help, but were cautious about what to do. So I learned to open my mouth in the correct way. I set the tone: if I am comfortable, they are comfortable. If I tell them what I need (or don’t need), or what to do (or not do), they are glad for it. Everyone benefits.

It was difficult in the beginning for me to say “yes”, “no”, or “would you please…” But once I got started, it got easier.

Here are examples of this week so far:

“OK. You know the rules. Mi casa es su casa. Help yourself to anything you want and clean up after yourself.”

“Would you excuse me, please? I am so tired and need to lie down for awhile.”

“Yes, you can help—could you finish cutting up these veggies? And can someone else take out the garbage?”

“It is SO hot. Would you please get me an ice pack from the freezer—there’s a crowd in the kitchen!”

“Would anyone mind going to the store? We need to get…”

“No. As much as I would like to go, I better not. It’s too hot and I’m too tired. When you are gone, it will give me a great opportunity to sneak into bed and take a nap.”

“Yes, you can run the vacuum for me!”

“No, you guys go ahead and watch the movie—I’ll watch it another time. I’m going to hit the sack early.”

It works beautifully. My family is great–willing to pitch in, and understanding my need to take care of myself. They love to help me, and I love their help and appreciate their understanding.

Gone are the days when I felt that I needed to get up first in the morning to make coffee. Gone are the days when they felt uncomfortable as they watched me struggle trying to fix a meal for them. Gone are they days I felt too proud to ask for help. Gone are the days when they felt intimidated to offer help.

So, do yourself and everyone else a favor: Speak up, nicely. It is a win-win situation.

www.DebbieMS.com

Positivity: Essential For Our Health & Happiness

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“How to Embrace It”

July 16, 2013

Having a positive perspective in life is critical to both our health and happiness.

Earlier this year I came across an article by Renie Cavallari, CEO and Chief inspirational officer of Aspire Marketing and Training, and saved it. Recently I went through a negative spell, and re-reading this article helped me re-focus and turn my attitude positive again. Since her article is so good, I decided to take direct excerpts from it to share with others:

“Nothing positive comes from negativity. How you choose to see the world is how you experience it. You feel the way you think and your thoughts reflect your actions.

As a human being, you can control how you feel. You can choose to take any situation and consider it from a positive perspective. This is not to say that when you feel bad or sad, you should deny your feelings. What you can do is decide how you will allow the people and events of your life to affect your world.

Things happen that are disappointing, upsetting or overwhelming. This is when you have to conscientiously change your perspective so you can get to a more productive mental space. You cannot change the events of your life. You can change how you experience them.

Here are a few tips:

• Ask yourself, “What is right or good about this situation?” Avoid the negative narrative and find what is helpful.

• When your energy is low, this is the first sign that you want to get some exercise. Exercise actually “turns on” our energy and has a way of giving our negative thoughts and feelings a place to release. Just take a walk, breathe in, pick up your pace and burn off the negative energy.

• Who you hang out with is who you become. Some people just give off negative energy; this is why we feel so exhausted around them. When disappointments happen, you want positive and supportive people in your world. Fire the naysayers. They are not helpful and only hold you back.

• Sometimes embracing the humor of a situation helps. Ask yourself, “What about this situation will be funny in a year? Or maybe five years?

• Move to solutions. Many times we think about what is wrong vs. what we can do next. If you stay in a place of a problem (what is wrong), you end up feeling negative and stuck.

When you start planning what you are going to do, you begin to feel empowered and in control; you start moving toward what you want. This forward momentum creates more positive energy and gets you where you want to go.

Your energy determines how you feel and experience your life. Positivity is the fuel for happiness.”

Thank you, Renie!

www.DebbieMS.com

Stuck in a Negative Spell & Attitude

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“Grieving”

July 16, 2013

Normally I am a very optimistic person.  Throughout my life, I dealt with many major, difficult events that required life adjustments.  Going through a grieving process—denial, anger, depression, bargaining–often accompanies the life adjustments.  Somehow I always managed to plow forward through the process rather quickly, restoring a positive attitude and looking for that silver lining.

People have often remarked what an inspiration I am and how well I do. But lately, not this time.  I have been stuck in one of those negative spells, with a negative attitude.  In April, I developed complications from a UTI, got a virus, and had an allergic reaction to an antibiotic all at the same time.  The perfect storm stirred up my MS to the point that left me completely incapacitated. I was admitted into the hospital.

Fortunately, after weeks of treatment and home care therapy, the infections and sickness went away and the MS calmed down.  Physically, I returned to my previous pre-relapse “normal” state.  But having the weeks of downtime and being incapacitated shook me to the core. My mental and emotional state didn’t rebound so easily. Every day I got out of bed and went through the motions of life, but with no smiles or enthusiasm. I was  existing without any happiness. My emotions were erratic and unpredictable.  Nothing was fun or funny.

I was grieving.

I was sick of being sick of being sick and tired of being tired.  Too many times over too many years of problem solving and adjusting.  My mind shut down; it was hard to think, which is what I always seem to do.  Think.

Everything in my life has to be planned and organized around my bathroom problems, medications, accessibility needs, physical limitations, fatigue, waiting for others to help me with something… And every thing I do takes so long to do.  Sometimes it’s just not worth the effort. Everything is a production.

This coming September, I have a trip planned to Alaska.  While “normal” people are looking forward to the cruise, food and excursions, I am dreading it all.  I worry about embarrassing myself with a bathroom accident.  Or, what will I do if I get a serious UTI, since I am resistant to oral antibiotics?  I have to plan to try and prevent these things from happening.  It is exasperating.

On the other side of the coin, so often I have to cancel my laborious plans because I don’t feel well, am too fatigued, maybe didn’t sleep well, require a laxative…  I have to plan, but other times I can’t plan something because of some physical or accessible limitation. It drives me crazy.  I can’t be spontaneous about anything.

Over the years, one reason I have kept a personal journal was to vent my sadness, stress or frustration.  Here are a couple of entries made during this bad spell:

“I wish I could just have 24 hours of being a normal person with no physical problems. To sleep through the night without waking up because of a cramp, a spasm, a pain, or to have to pee.  To not wake up tired after being in bed for eight hours. To sit down and pee without the hassle of using a catheter. To have a bowel movement without worrying about if I am going to go, or if I am going to get to the commode in time.  To eat whatever I want without bloating, gas… To have a day with no pain, or edema.  To be able to walk.  To have a day when I could everything myself without waiting or depending on someone to help me. To not have to worry about changing or cancelling plans because I am too tired.  To not drop things.  To be able to jump in the car and drive someplace alone. “

“Life is a journey as people often say.  But why is it that some people just seem to cruise through life?  Sometimes I feel like I’ve been travelling on some bumpy, dirt road never knowing when an obstacle will pop up.  It always does.  A flat tire.  A dead end.  A detour.  Overheated.  A breakdown.  Out of gas.  An unmarked fork in the road—which way to go?  Stuck in a rut.”

In the past, I always reached out somewhere, like counseling, to get me through my grieving.  Grieving isn’t a bad thing; it is a coping mechanism.  But grieving too long is not good.  It will crush your mind, body and spirit.  I wasn’t reaching out this time and I was getting crushed.

Two things happened over the past month that broke me out of this spell and helped me heal my spirit. The first thing was that a lost dog appeared in front on our house late one evening, barking incessantly.  This dog was a clone of my beloved companion Bear that died exactly a year earlier, both in looks and personality.  After a month of unsuccessfully locating the owner of this lovable one-year old pup, we adopted “Grizzly”, aka “Little Bear” as we named him.

Second, I came across an article about positivity that I saved from earlier this year.  It was also a catalyst that started me thinking healthy thoughts again.  I’m posting it today on my blog after I post this article so that it may inspire others as it inspired me.

Divine intervention?  I think so.  Faith, hope and love are so powerful.  They pulled me out of the deep, dark hole I fell into and got me over my grieving.  I’m moving forward again with a positive outlook and I’m smiling again on the inside and out. 

www.DebbieMS.com

Does the Doctor Really Know What’s Best for You?

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“It’s your choice.”

June 18, 2013

I have seen doctors for almost all of the forty years of my adult life, and this is what I learned:

While I need to have doctors in my life as I deal with MS, I ultimately know what is best for me to do—not my doctors. I know my body and I will always make the final decision relative to how I want to be treated by a doctor. My doctors are there for support, knowledge, prescriptions, consultation and referrals. If I believe I am not getting from a doctor what I (or my insurance) is paying for, I will fire him/her.

It is a viewpoint other older MS veterans have shared with me.

Many MS specialist-neurologists are experts—they have seen numerous patients and are trained with knowledge. But I am an expert too, with a lot of common sense. I have talked with numerous people dealing with MS (both patients and professionals), and constantly research information about my disorder.

Each case of MS is different with regard to disability, rate and duration of relapses/progression, symptoms, response to medications and treatments, etc. It is a fact that that no two cases are alike. I believe I know my body best in terms of how I feel and how my body acts/reacts; this is information that I must note and share with my doctor.

I live with MS, monitoring and documenting many things regarding my own case, 24/7 every day–symptoms, side effects, triggers… A doctor looks at my case and evaluates me for only about fifteen minutes every 6-12 months. As one recent MSer complained to me, “I just wish a doctor would listen to my symptoms and not just do their little neurological test of pinch here, pock here and say nothing wrong here. This sucks.”

Recently, I spoke with a person with MS who was complaining how bad MS had been affecting her cognitive abilities. During the discussion, I learned the doctor prescribed her a sleeping pill, an anxiety pill, and a pain pill—all at the same time!! It was no wonder why her mental faculties were impaired. Where’s the common sense here?

Other patients receive scripts to treat two or three things at one time with no instruction to start them at different intervals. How would someone know what is affecting what, positively or negatively?

Since I am not on a DMD treatment, I choose not to get MRI’s. Personally, I don’t care how many lesions I have or how big they are because that by itself isn’t always reliable in terms of what to take, do, or how bad I am. For me, going for an MRI every six months is a waste of my time and money. But that is my choice and my decision.

And doctors are not always right. Doctors make mistakes or poor decisions as well. Maybe they are having a bad day, are overloaded, or were given faulty test results. Let’s face it—why do people get second or even third opinions before having major surgery, for example?

Truthfully, I like, need and want my doctors. Doctors have things I don’t have–the ability to write prescriptions, order tests for evaluation, and referrals for things like therapy or specialists. I use them to get these things. Also, I really do want to listen to their expertise and judgment, and consult with them about any course of action.

Now I do not have major cognitive issues that interfere with my judgment. But there have been times when I was distraught with anxiety or depression and I felt I didn’t want to make a decision alone. I asked the doctor if he was in my shoes, “What would you do?” I have enough trust in my primary professionals to follow their advice. In these situations, I also have a close family member or friend with me to listen and help evaluate the circumstances. Teamwork is good.

When I choose a doctor, I find one that has very high ratings and one that I am compatible with. It enhances my confidence when I make my final decision about a course of action.

I have been blessed to have two MS specialist-neurologists in two different states that were both opened-minded and respected my personal choices. They talked with me, not at me or down to me. They also recognize that I am the one living with MS and know my body best. However, “Two heads are always better than one” when evaluating anything, so I am open minded as well. And throughout the years, there were certainly good reasons to see and confer with my doctors.

So choose your doctor and your course of action wisely.

www.DebbieMS.com