Tag Archives: Multiple Sclerosis

Attitude is Everything

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“Taking Control of Yourself”

January 23, 2013

I was in the process of writing an article about the ramifications of mental and emotional health when living with a chronic illness like MS, when I came across the following post today while perusing an MS connection online site. It is so incredibly good I am taking the liberty of sharing it to others I know with MS.

“Hi everyone, I have been away from this site for a long time. Just recently got back on. When I first found the site I was looking for help with my MS. Received really good advice then didn’t come back regularly as I should have.

I have learned a lot in the last 7 months. I believe in “pay forward” so I wish to share this with you. I hope it helps and doesn’t insult anyone. The bottom line is I am in control of what I choose to do and not to do, remember this throughout this message.

I have had a multitude of symptoms. Number one is DEPRESSION! I believe this is the cornerstone to a lot of my choosing not to do. I have done mental health therapy with a counselor, PT and OT. Through all of this I became educated. Now I am realizing that I chose to stay in my poor me syndrome. I was so sick of doctor appointments, running constantly which cause me to be exhausted and frustrated because no one could fix me.

I hate the cognitive fog, forgetfulness, physical limitations, sexual dysfunction, tremors, pain, confusion; I hated every part of MS and what it has done to me. I missed the old me and desperately wanted to be fixed without having to work so damn hard to try to get back to the old me. My neurologist told me “change your attitude and you will feel better”. I was pissed off to say the least. It has been 2 months since I have seen him, and I now know he is right. I am in control of my attitude.

My depression was preventing me from living, and I chose to stay this way in misery. We increased my depression meds and I slowly began to change my attitude, which is very challenging with the unpredictability of MS.

I am trying to laugh alot more and trying to adapt to my challenges. Helping myself get enough sleep, drinking fluids, getting educated, another words helping myself. There are days I eat the wrong foods, drink too much caffeine, smoke too much (still working on this need to quit) and those days I know I have myself to thank for how crappy I feel. Exercise is very helpful mentally and physically. I wouldn’t exercise because I couldn’t do what I used to do, so I chose not to do it. This only hurts me more.

So I guess what I want to tell you all, is look deep into yourselves and do a personal inventory. I had to realize I can’t be fixed. No cure for MS. Accept this. Then change your attitude from can’t do to I can do. Find the laughter! As hard as it is to do, acknowledge we are not who we were before MS. We are trapped in this auto immune, unpredictable disease. Say this totally sucks. Then move on. Start over building the new you. Challenge yourself to be the best you can be each moment, acknowledge your success and failure. If you fail, look at the reason why, did you bring this on yourself? Sometimes we cause the situation, other times it’s just the MS. If the latter is the cause, move on; adjust then if you can laugh through it. But you have to move past it.

I type these words and know some of you won’t get it and maybe it will help some of you. I chose not to do a lot; I needed to wallow through the misery of MS. I will have bad days, and if I chose to stay there, this is my choice. I can’t imagine anyone not being depressed with a diagnosis of MS. It’s so devastating. I remember when I was diagnosed I thought “oh thank God I’m not crazy”; there was a reason for what was happening to me. But then I allowed the MS to make me crazy by wanting to be fixed and have all this crap go away. Well it doesn’t and everyday is a new day and full of challenges and ups and downs.

Also, how many times have we heard stress will exacerbate our symptoms, “try to avoid stress”? OMG! Are you kidding me? Ladies and Gents life is not stress free nor is it avoidable. The key to success is how you handle the stress, not how do you avoid it. I mean really you have this incurable disease that has robbed you, this is stressful.

I have a new attitude (most of the time) about stress. It is what it is. I look at stress and think how does this really affect me? I can allow myself to get all wrapped up in the drama, or I can meet it head on, fix it or forget it. If you can end the drama, do it. Set the boundaries. Don’t allow others to suck you into things that really don’t affect you. Shelter yourselves from the unnecessary drama. This only zaps your energy and well being. You need to protect yourself. Stress is like infectious bacteria that want to invade you and make you sick.

Set boundaries, make them know and put up your shield. Some people may think you are being mean or uncaring. So be it. I know what I need to do to keep myself upright and moving forward. If they can’t accept this, then I guess they are not ready to accept me for who I have to be. I can help them but only if they don’t suck me into the stress and drama.

You need to see things in black and white at first, don’t allow a gray area. As I learn more about me and what I can tolerate, I may be able to not have such a strong force field around me. But for now this is what I need to do for me. This saves my energy for the moments I have to really deal with big stressors that take me by surprise. Then when I have those stressful times, I can take a realistic approach to how to not allow it to make me sick. I can think clearer and reset the boundaries for each “big” stressful situation. May the force be with you all!

I hope this rambling helps most who read it. Some of you may think I am nuts (sometimes I am but my counselor assures me I am not crazy). The bottom line is take care of yourself first, everyone else comes after you. You need to find your “new” self and set realistic goal and boundaries and make them known. Say them out loud for loved ones to hear and understand. Ask for help, but don’t ask everyone to do everything for you. Rise to the challenge and find the “new you”. I never thought I would say this, but MS has helped me to see how the old me really wasn’t all that healthy mentally or physically. The new me will be a new and improved, just slower but I have a better outlook today than yesterday and for that I am grateful.

Best wishes to you all! Your friend in MS, Michele”

No Michele—you are not rambling and you are not nuts. You are an incredible inspiration. There is a sign in my doctor’s office that reads “Attitude is everything—Pick a good one!” I love yours and the next time I get down in the dumps and have trouble getting out of it, I will read your post. I give it a AAA+ grade, for An Awesome Attitude.

There is no mystery that people with positive attitudes are happier, live longer, and are stronger.

Thank you.

www.DebbieMS.com

Fatigue & MS

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“What it is—What to do”

“People look at me and just cannot understand why I get so tired.” (MSer comment, March 2011) This is a quotation I used in a chapter about fatigue in my book, Managing MS: Straight Talk….”

During a brief conversation with my sister last night, she remarked that she had no energy, she couldn’t think clearly, and all she wanted to do was lie down because she felt so exhausted. She has a virus. I got it—I knew exactly how she felt.

I often describe MS fatigue to people that it is like having a cold or virus—that you feel so exhausted all you want to do is lie down. Out of all the symptoms I and others have experienced with MS over all these years, I truly believe this is the one symptom that is the most difficult one for everyone involved to understand and know what to do about it.

But fatigue is extremely difficult for a non-MSer to understand because you can’t always see it—there is no stuffed up nose, swollen eyes, or sneezing. Or, someone may say “you look tired, maybe you should take a nap.” Okay, a nap may help, but fatigue isn’t only due to being sleepy.

It doesn’t matter if the MS case is mild or advanced. It doesn’t matter if one had a good night sleep or if the MS is not currently active. Fatigue is almost always present with MS, 24/7. Why? Fatigue exists because it is caused by MS–a disease, a chronic illness–and it causes other symptoms such is walking problems to intensify.

Fatigue is the hallmark symptom of MS. It is a universal complaint by 80–90% of MS patients. And it is finally being recognized as a serious obstacle for employment by the Social Security Administration when applying for disability benefits.

• A MSer will get fatigued easily, whether other symptoms are present or not. Simple activities like making dinner or talking on the phone too long can be exhausting. The slightest thing can make it worse, such as not eating, drinking enough fluids, or being overheated.

• Fatigue is compounding and escalates quickly if MS becomes active due to a relapse, or the amount of disability has increased over time. For example, sleep disturbances due to bladder problems at night, or extra effort required to walk because of spasticity or other gait problems, will impact fatigue significantly. Energy is reduced, weakness increases. This causes stress, frustration, and depression that will then lead to even greater fatigue.

• Fatigue is often caused by medications taken for other MS symptoms.

Often we can combat fatigue by pacing our activities, taking frequent rests, or letting others do things for us. Yesterday I came across an article entitled What You Can Do About Fatigue From MS, and is worth a read. It is from a blog I subscribe to called Stu’s Views & M.S. News; the source of this article was WebMD. Here’s the link http://bit.ly/Wrk8M9 .

There ARE many ways we can help to manage fatigue, and even if some do not work, other things may. At least we can try and keep on hoping.

www.DebbieMS.com
Author/MS Counselor/Living with MS

Office Visits with your Neurologist

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“Good Advice for Being Prepared”

December 10, 2012

Not having enough time with your neurologist or feeling that you didn’t get your questions answered is a common complaint by patients today. Often we blame the doctor and his/her office but there is the other side of the story—the doctor’s!

Be Prepared!: How to make the most of office time with your neurologist… is an article worth reading. Written by Avitzur, Orly M.D., M.B.A., it was printed in the current issue of Neurology Now—the American Academy of Neurologists Magazine for Patients and Caregivers.   http://bit.ly/QSp1uH  I’m taking the liberty of sharing this via by blog, since you are my friends I am given the option by them to share this with my friends :).

Finding a neurologist that you are comfortable with, one having high credentials/reviews, and one that has a specialty in your particular chronic condition is essential. After you read this article, ask yourself: do you do this before your visit, and does the doctor respond in the way this doctor suggests?

For those of you not familiar with the magazine Neurology Now, you take a look at it online and subscribe to it for free. While it addresses many neurological disorders, I have found useful information relating to multiple sclerosis for myself. And other things like Parkinson’s disease that my friends have…

www.DebbieMS.com

Give a Gift of Knowledge & Support

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“A Holiday Stocking Stuffer”

November 26, 2012

Every week I write an article with substance for persons dealing with multiple sclerosis. As the holiday season is upon us, this week’s article is about giving a gift of substance to someone or even to yourself. Like a good book about a serious illness.

I wrote my book, Managing MS: Straight Talk From a Thirty-One Year Survivor, to help others dealing with MS. But Managing MS also has many chapters suitable for persons dealing with other chronic illnesses/autoimmune diseases, or for people in general who want to learn about something new.

This upbeat self-help guide is a knowledge and support tool. Acquiring more knowledge and support about something that is unknown will result in less fear, mystery and misconceptions about it. Packed with information and inspiration, Managing MS will leave the reader feeling both good and grateful in addition to the knowledge acquired– whether one does, or does not, have a serious illness or disease.

Many have told me it is a book of substance. Recently, a man approached me when I was volunteering at an MS Walk, and said he came for the purpose of meeting me. He read my book and wanted to thank me in person and sign it for him. Diagnosed just a year ago, he said it changed both his and his family’s lives. The entire staff of my PCP’s office read the book, and my PCP bought copies to give to a MS patient that would come in for an office visit.

It is a short, easy read of less than 150 pages (with resources) that would make a great stocking stuffer.

BUT…If my book is not of interest, get a book—any meaningful, inspiring book—that will give knowledge and support of a subject. It will be a worthwhile gift and a great stocking stuffer.

After all, ‘tis the season of sharing, giving, helping and hope. 🙂

www.DebbieMS.com
Book trailer    http://debbiems.com/book_278.html

Serious Effects of Getting Sick for MS/Autoimmune Disease Patients

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The season of colds, flus and viruses is upon us. For normal people, getting one of these is no fun, but they soon get well and life goes on. For those of us with multiple sclerosis, an autoimmune disease, these sicknesses are detrimental to our overall health.

 


What to Know

1. When a person with an autoimmune disease gets sick, those fighter T-cells from the immune system get to work to combat the invading bacteria or virus. Unfortunately those cells goof up on the job and attack the body instead of the real villains. For multiple sclerosis, the central nervous system is attacked; for patients of rheumatoid arthritis, the joints are attacked; for lupus, the body’s organs are attacked, and so forth.

For a person with MS, the attack means that inflammation in the nervous system will likely occur, causing present MS symptoms to worsen and perhaps causing new symptoms to appear. The probability of a relapse is high, often followed by residual damage to one or more areas of the CNS.

To make matters worse, because the immune system isn’t working properly, recovery time is extended. A normal person may recover from a cold in five days; recovery for a person with MS or an autoimmune disease may take up to ten days or even longer.

2. Drugs taken to treat MS (DMT’s) suppress the immune system. Corticosteroids used to treat MS relapses also suppress the immune system. These have a dual purpose: to suppress the immune system to avoid releasing the T-fighter cells and to reduce the inflammation that an attack ultimately causes. During an MS relapse, steroids (Solu-medrol, predisone…) are usually prescribed in high doses to quickly remedy these two problems. The downside to these benefits is that the person is left highly vulnerable to getting sick or infected because the immune system is suppressed.

Another example is an MS treatment available called Acthar. It is an option to treat MS relapses and inflammation differently from steroids; however, like steroids it suppresses the immune system and increases the chances of getting infections and illnesses.

3. Depression, anxiety and fatigue are common symptoms of MS and other diseases/chronic illnesses. Sickness and infections exacerbate these symptoms. As the winter season drags on, these symptoms are often affected even more. A rolling stone gathers moss…

What to Do

1. Take all measures to keep your resistance high and your exposure to infections, colds and viruses low:

• Make sure to get a good night sleep, eat properly, and drink plenty of water to keep the body healthy.  Take vitamins, especially the B’s to boost the immune system.

• Constantly wash hands, don’t share food or drinks, and never put fingers in the mouth, nose or eyes. Take hand sanitizer with you and use it often, such as in a bathroom, after reading magazines or shaking hands with someone. Avoid rubbing your eyes, sharing food, or putting things in your mouth, like a pen. Take your own bottle of water in lieu of drinking from a water fountain.

• Stay away from people with colds or viruses. If someone who wants to get together with you is sick, suggest having a phone chat instead. When it is someone you live or work with, keep your distance from them as much as possible. Put kisses and hugs on hold, and then double up on them when the sickness passes. Teach kids to wash their hands, use the chicken-wing when sneezing, and all of the things listed above.

2. With regard to flu shots, it should be a personal decision regardless of what doctors or researchers advise about shots. Many people choose to use commonsense methods to avoid the flu and don’t want the risk of any side effects from annually developed vaccines on what the ‘new’ strains are expected to be.

3. Check the inserts that come with your medications to learn whether they can effect the immune system.

4. If you have an infection (e.g. sinus), call your doctor for an antibiotic.

5. If you have a virus, try to hang in there and tolerate the MS symptoms until the sickness is over (even if it is causing a relapse/flare-up).

• Again, recovery from a sickness for a MSer is usually longer because of the immune system dysfunction. The waiting can be a real burden on our patience, adding stress. Getting on steroids while ill can cause a longer recovery period while leaving you exposed to getting something else.

• Take extra steps to rest, take care yourself, build the resistance up, and try to recover on your own.

• If you can’t hang in there, consult with your doctor about a course of action. While colds, flus and viruses cannot be treated with antibiotics, the symptoms of these sicknesses can be treated for comfort (example: a decongestant or cough suppressant).

6. If the cold/sickness is over and the MS symptoms stay intensified afterwards, then call the doctor to discuss steroids because at this point the MS is probably active.

7. Remember that heat has an adverse effect on many people living with MS. Having a fever that frequently accompanies a virus or flu can significantly intensify MS symptoms. Treat a fever with aspirin or ibuprofen, cool packs, and plenty of water/ice chips to reduce some of the negative impact the sickness is having on your symptoms.

8. Fight the winter doldrums by finding ways to overcome depression and anxiety. Rest often to help with fatigue.

While those suffering from MS or another chronic illness do not have control all of the time, there are things that can be done to have control some of the time. This is one of those times we can help take control.

www.DebbieMS.com
Author/MS Counselor/Living with MS

Multiple Sclerosis: What EVERYONE Needs to Know

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“People just don’t know about it.”

October 22, 2012

There are two things many people say that irks those of us that have Multiple Sclerosis:

  1. “It’s that Jerry Lewis thing, isn’t it?”
  2. “But you look so good!”

No, it’s NOT that Jerry Lewis thing.  Jerry Lewis represents MD—Muscular Dystrophy.  MS stands for Multiple Sclerosis. Two extremely different disorders.  As we MSers talk to each other, we get discouraged that MD has had a national figure representing and fundraising for them.  We wish we had a national well-known person that could do the same thing for multiple sclerosis. 

So many people are not aware of MS.

Nor do they understand it.

If people really understood MS, they would know not to say “But you look so good!”  We would like to respond back “Thanks, but we sure don’t feel as good as we look!”  Why?  Because multiple sclerosis is largely an invisible disorder.  People automatically associate MS with walking problems and wheelchairs.

Being a disease of the central nervous system, potentially anything controlled by the CNS can be affected:  sensory functions, sight, cognitive/emotional functions—in addition to motor functions. These MS symptoms are not only invisible; they are extremely common and very disabling. Some examples include fatigue, weakness, bladder/bowel/sexual problems, numbness and tingling sensations, loss of sensation, balance/coordination issues, loss of vision, pain, dizziness, depression; the list is enormous.

Someone who understands MS would also know the detrimental effect any type of heat has on a MSer, whether it’s from the temperature, a fever, the time of day or a hot flash.  Or that staggered walking is not from too many drinks, but rather from a loss of balance/coordination due to damage in the brain.

Also, since many symptoms are invisible, many people do not realize that someone may have MS.  Or, because they don’t see a cane, brace, or other disability device, it is assumed that a MSer is okay.  It is hurtful to get dirty looks and remarks when a “normal-looking” person with MS gets out of the car in a handicapped space; their ability to walk before their legs start to wobble may be just ten minutes or 100 steps.

So, both awareness and understanding are needed.  To survive MS, we need a tremendous amount of support, not only from our friends and family, but from everybody.  Physical, mental, emotional and financial support.  Support for us individually due the difficulties and disabilities we live with; and support for the MS community as a whole financially–to fund research for curing MS, preventing MS, and restoring lost function due to its damaging effects.

I started an Orange Ribbon campaign recently with the Arizona Chapter of the National Multiple Sclerosis Society.  We MSers and some of our friends and families have just about finished 5,500 orange ribbon pins that represent multiple sclerosis (like the pink ones that stand for breast cancer).  Our goal is to have them ready for distribution at the Phoenix MS Walk on November 3rd.

We want to create more awareness, and when strangers ask us “what’s that orange ribbon for?” we will explain MS.  We will be advocators and educators.

So if you see someone wearing an orange ribbon on their lapel or shirt, it means either they have MS or someone that they know has MS.  We make them ourselves using orange satin floral ribbon and safety pins. 

During one of our ribbon-making sessions, a woman asked “What do you say when someone asks what MS is?  It is complicated and difficult to explain.”  Keeping it simple and uncomplicated, I would suggest this:

What is Multiple Sclerosis?

Multiple Sclerosis is disease of the central nervous system. Potentially anything controlled by the CNS can be affected–such as motor function, sensory function, sight, or cognitive/emotional functions.  Many symptoms are invisible, so many people don’t know someone has MS. (Examples: fatigue, weakness, bladder problems, numbness/tingling, pain…)

It is not fatal, contagious, or congenital.  There is no cure; the cause is unknown.  It is generally progressive.  The majority of persons afflicted will become disabled during the decades of their lifetime with no way to fix the damage. 

Every case of MS is different, unpredictable, and very uncontrollable. It is unknown what course the disease will take, what will be affected, how quickly it will happen, and how much disability will occur.  

There are new drugs that are trying to slow the progression, and meds to help relieve symptoms and shorten relapses. Nothing is available yet to prevent MS or restore lost functions resulting from its damaging effects.  However, there are many things one can learn to manage living with it.

We at the Arizona Chapter of the NMSS are starting to hand out copies of this brief description of MS to people we meet that do not know about multiple sclerosis.  We are going to encourage other MS groups and organizations to do the same.

We need help, and we certainly need a cure.

www.DebbieMS.com

 

 

Managing MS vs. Living with MS

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“Are they the same thing?

October 1, 2012

Is there a difference between Managing MS versus Living with MS? Yes and no. It depends on who you ask.

On September 24, The NPR Diane Rehm Show aired “Diagnosing, Treating and Living with MS. A panel of experts—neurologists/MS Specialists including a doctor who has MS—answered audience questions about diagnosing, treating and living with multiple sclerosis.

My first response after listening to the show was that the doctors in the discussion did not truly address “living with MS.” The responses were dominated by treatments and medications that patients should take. Questions that were asked about symptoms like spasticity and fatigue or lifestyle activities like diet, stress and exercise were glossed over with comments like “research hasn’t yet shown…” or reverted back to the necessity of getting on a treatment ASAP.

I have had MS for 32 years, and while I think the treatments available and new ones on the horizon are exciting, I would like to point out that there are so many effective ways to manage MS daily that should be understood that are non-medicinal.

Management of MS should be a two-pronged approach: medicinal AND non-medicinal. A person should not only rely or be concerned about drugs to solve their problems with MS. It’s not enough to just “live with it” and think that having an injection or popping a pill will magically take away or minimize the problems MS burdens a person with.

There are numerous things an MSer can do to manage and control (yes, control!) both the symptoms and the course of their disease without the drugs. But this all takes knowledge, support, work, dedication and discipline. There’s no easy way out of it, but trust me, it works!

First, a healthy lifestyle should be maintained to prevent illness, stress, etc. that can help minimize further relapses/damage to the CNS. This means keeping your resistance up and body healthy through proper exercise, diet, stress management, sleep/rest etc. Illness/infections often trigger a relapse by activating an immune system response with subsequent damage to the CNS. Extra precautions to prevent accidents/falls (like using disability aids) would help accomplish the same thing.

Second, there are many things a person can do to manage symptoms. For example, I suffer with much spasticity; by doing daily stretching/exercising, while taking baclofen (a medication to reduce spasticity), the stiffness and tightness is greatly reduced for me. Another example is the importance of learning good bladder management from a neuro-urologist. Eighty percent of persons with MS will suffer from a bladder issue at some point. Putting up with a leaky bladder by wearing pads is not only distressing, it is dangerous. Urinary tract infections (UTI’s) are common and can lead to complications and undesirable consequences.

Understanding the sensitivity of MS to so many factors that intensify symptoms can enable a MSer to take certain actions to calm their symptoms. A prime example is the negative effect that heat has on symptoms like fatigue, endurance, balance… One can learn easy ways to counteract it quickly by using a cooling vest, ice packs, drinking ice water and taking a cold shower. Fatigue—the hallmark symptom of MS that affects 90% of MSers—is another symptom that can often be managed by frequent resting, lifestyle changes, support from others…

Alternatives therapies have helped physical, emotional, and mental issues for many, many folks with MS. These things include yoga, trigger-point therapy, pilates, deep breathing, tai chi, reflexology to name some of them. Finding things to make a person feel better goes a lo-o-o-o-ong way. Some things work for some better than for others, but how do you know if you don’t try them?

After the Diane Rehm show was over, the doctors continued to answer questions submitted by people. Dr. William Shaffer, an attending neurologist who also has lived with MS since 2002 had this to say in response to a couple of off-the-air questions:

“The disease modifying medications do not directly help with symptoms in MS. At the same time, if the disease is being modified with a proper medication, sometimes people do feel better with their symptoms. However, there are many medications/management for the many symptoms we as people with MS can experience.”

“I don’t know any specific numbers on people who didn’t take medications and how they are doing. If you look at it like this, these medications are to delay disability, slow progression and some can have improvements on MRIs. I can tell you that I have seen people in my clinic that had been doing well for years and so didn’t start any medications. But, then they had an attack that hit them quite hard. Then they wanted to go on a medication, “to get better.” I told them that the medications are to keep from getting worse and not to make one better.”

Finally, one of the doctors had this remark: “We encourage patients to really think about lifestyle issues, to maximize their activity and exercise, and also to maximize healthy diet, because we now know those things do impact the amount of residual disability people have.”

I wish that comment had been made and talked about during the show.

So if you asked me if there is a difference between managing MS and living with MS, I would respond “yes!” Managing MS should be an integral part of living with MS. I know many people who have had MS for 20-30+ years and I know they would respond to this question the same way.

But the opinion of the person with MS is what ultimately matters. Do you want to just live with MS, or do you want to take some control and manage your MS while living with it?

The choice is yours!

For more info about me and what I am talking about, please go to www.DebbieMS.com

The Ultimate Doctor

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“Are You Happy with Yours?”

September 24, 2012

Two days before leaving on an out-of-state vacation recently, I started having the classic symptoms of a urinary tract infection (UTI). Increased spasticity, cloudy urine, frequent urination, burning. Within a day, the symptoms intensified and worsened; my bladder medication wasn’t working and I was leaking urine uncontrollably. The heat I felt from a slight fever contributed to the mayhem of it all.

Now bladder infections are nothing to mess around with, especially if you have MS. An infection like this not only is bothersome, but more importantly, it is painful and can quickly lead to trouble like a relapse and/or kidney problems. It needs to be addressed quickly.

Having dealt with bladder problems for over two decades and having to use self cathing to void, I know what to look for and what to do. But of course, I need my doctor to get me on an antibiotic ASAP.

It was a Sunday, and I was to leave on Monday. I called the office’s answering service, explained my situation, and requested the on-call doctor to contact me. I received a call within a half of an hour from the doctor. After a brief discussion, a prescription was called into my pharmacy immediately and I had the antibiotic in my hands soon after.

Now THAT’s a good doctor. To me, anyway!

Of course I had been a patient at the office for years, but nevertheless, he addressed my problem with no hassle or waiting. But, even if I wasn’t leaving on a trip the next day, the office has worked with me on this issue before. With past UTI’s, the office helps me on the same day that I call. I know how to take a “clean-catch” urine sample at home, take it to the office for a “squeezed-in” appointment that lasts no longer than five or ten minutes, and once verified that there is a bacteria, I get a script.

Having excellent physicians when living with a chronic illness is essential. It’s a lifetime relationship that requires frequent and unexpected visits, not a once-a-year annual checkup. I have doctors that I know rank in the top 10%. And I have doctors that treat many other MS patients and understand MS.

Now when it comes finding a physician, it is an individual and personal decision. By that I mean that one has to decide what he/she wants from their doctor and what the relationship needs to be. Find doctors and professionals that treat others with MS and fit your personality.

I’ll use myself as an example. I don’t want a hand holder; I want someone I can consult with. I am not a whiner and when I call, that means I need help ASAP. I want called back that day, action within a day. I don’t want to be dragged into the office when I’m too sick to get out of bed. When I go into the office, I don’t want to wait an hour. I’ve got a fatigue problem. I want to talk to my doctor, not the receptionist. I want my doctor to be connected with the latest studies and research.

Are you happy with your physician(s)? If not, it’s time to move on and find another one. You are in charge, not the doctor. You hired the doctor, and if you are not getting satisfaction, fire him/her and get another one.

Ask yourself what you want/need from the doctor and the office, such as good bedside manners; prompt responses; office visits; follow ups; experience; reviews. Interview the office/doctor before you make the first appointment.

So how do you find a good doctor? Get referrals from: a doctor you currently have that you do like, your local MS Society Chapter, family, people you know in the health field, and other MSers. Check their background and credentials on the internet. Two websites I use are www.vitals.com and www.healthgrades.com, but there are others; you can do a Google search using a phrase like “doctor reviews and credentials” to get other websites.

Finally, a couple of other tips:

• Go to the office or call on the phone prepared. Have your questions written down, have your problems written down with specifics. You will only have fifteen minutes with your doctor, if that. Don’t expect to be educated by the doctor. Expect answers to your questions. If you have a lot to talk about, schedule a longer appointment.

• If you have MS: Realistically, the most your doctor will do for you is to prescribe medications for symptoms, encourage disease modifying agents and make recommendations to other professionals (urologists, therapists…). Don’t allow yourself to feel pressured into anything you don’t want to take or do.

• You need to feel that you trust your doctor.

www.DebbieMS.com

Needed: MS Awareness and Understanding

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“Wear that Orange Ribbon!”

August 29, 2012

Multiple Sclerosis doesn’t discriminate when it comes to who gets it. The playing field is equal.

It doesn’t matter if you are white, black, Asian, or Native American. Doesn’t matter if you are male or female, though females are 2-3 times more likely to have MS. Doesn’t matter which continent you live on, though it is more prevalent in northern latitudes. Doesn’t matter if you are young or old, though the onset is usually between the ages of twenty and fifty. And it doesn’t matter if you are rich or poor.

Even when the statistics reflect a higher percentage of occurrences in certain groups, there are still no exceptions. A person living in the tropics or a child can still develop MS.

When it comes to the types of symptoms one gets, the course of the disease, the duration of a relapse, or the amount of disability one experiences, MS doesn’t discriminate there either. No two people have the same identical case; no two people respond to treatments equally.

What is not equal is the amount of support an MSer can get depending on their financial situation. Now, before I go on, I want to make myself clear: MS as an illness is just as difficult and interfering to live with whether a person is rich or poor.

Now, having said that, here’s where inequality exists.

I am an “ordinary” person, like most persons with MS. Middle-to-low income. When my disability progressed, I had to quit my job. We were lucky to have enough money to pay bills every month, but there were no extras. Before my husband retired, I had to take care of our son, house, cooking, shopping, washing, paying bills, tax preparation, and so forth as best as I could. Now that he is retired, I am still lucky in that he helps me with all of these chores; however, we are on fixed income and each year the dollar gets squeezed more and more.

Now I don’t begrudge a person of wealthier means. They are still suffering too, and it is not anyone’s fault that they are richer than me. It’s just that I have the added stress and physical fatigue of having to do these things on my own. Of course I have the support of family and friends who lend a hand to do these things. And mental and emotional support available through MS organizations and peers.

But many times it is not enough to get through each day’s to-do list. Too often there is no safety net or easy lifeline when a job loss occurs or health insurance is lost.

I’m going to stick my neck out and say MS is harder on the “ordinary” person. The additional physical, mental, and emotional stress of an ordinary person has a negative effect on our MS both in the short and long term, probably causing our MS to be worse overall.

So, what’s my point? The point is that I want everyone to be educated about what MS is and does to an ordinary person. There are famous people in the spotlight who have MS and are creating awareness—like Montel Williams, Ann Romney, Jack Osborn. But their image doesn’t realistically project MS in the sense of the majority of us.

Many of us have been told “You look so good”, but these celebrities look too good. Again, through no fault of their own, the way media presents them causes misconceptions. So now there are two stereotypes at opposite ends of the spectrum: the dilapidated person in a wheelchair and the normal looking person so refreshed, energized and high-spirited.

The people in the middle, like the middle class, need to get into center stage for once. The “ordinary” person with MS needs a voice and attention on a national level. We have fallen through the cracks.

If someone wears a pink ribbon, everyone knows what that stands for. If it is an orange ribbon, most people wouldn’t have a clue what it stands for. The MS community needs celebrities with MS like Montel Williams to wear an orange ribbon everyday to increase awareness. The MS community also needs to wear an orange ribbon to build an identity on a daily basis. This includes the top brass of all MS Associations as well as their employees and volunteers.

But, in addition to awareness, I believe everyone needs a basic understanding of what MS really is:

MS is an unpredictable, invisible, interfering, often disabling neurological disorder that has no cure and isn’t fatal or contagious. One that impacts millions of people, lasts a lifetime, and has immense costs associated with it for every citizen in this country.

If that happens, more support for research, financial assistance, social security disability and other things will happen for multiple sclerosis.

Somehow, we ordinary people with MS who are also the majority have to band together and make this happen. Plus we need advocates at the national level as well.

So please put on your orange ribbon and spread the word!

www.DebbieMS.com

Managing Overwhelming Circumstances

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“Speak Up, Nicely.”

August 13, 2012

It was 117 degrees yesterday, and the weather prediction doesn’t expect the temperature to go down much over the next week. My family from out-of-state is staying with us for the next ten days. Between the heat, fatigue and overwhelming activities under my roof, will I manage? Yes.

How? I learned when to say “yes”, “no”, and “would you please…”

This wasn’t something that came easy to me when I was diagnosed with MS. I was always a very independent person, offering my help to others. It took a long time to use these words in the right manner and circumstance. After all, we are talking about a change in behavior. Changes in behavior do not happen overnight, but it can happen if you want them to.

For me, it wasn’t a conscientious decision on my part to ask for help, accept help, or set limitations. The mounting of excessive fatigue and other interfering symptoms forced me. If I didn’t succumb to changing my behavior in this way, I would not have survived my MS.

Not only is it essential to me, it’s essential for my friends and family, too. In the beginning, they wanted to help, but were cautious about what to do. So I learned to open my mouth in the correct way. I set the tone: if I am comfortable, they are comfortable. If I tell them what I need (or don’t need), or what to do (or not do), they are glad for it. Everyone benefits.

It was difficult in the beginning for me to say “yes”, “no”, or “would you please…” But once I got started, it got easier.

Here are examples of this week so far:

“OK. You know the rules. Mi casa es su casa. Help yourself to anything you want and clean up after yourself.”

“Would you excuse me, please? I am so tired and need to lie down for awhile.”

“Yes, you can help—could you finish cutting up these veggies? And can someone else take out the garbage?”

“It is SO hot. Would you please get me an ice pack from the freezer—there’s a crowd in the kitchen!”

“Would anyone mind going to the store? We need to get…”

“No. As much as I would like to go, I better not. It’s too hot and I’m too tired. When you are gone, it will give me a great opportunity to sneak into bed and take a nap.”

“Yes, you can run the vacuum for me!”

“No, you guys go ahead and watch the movie—I’ll watch it another time. I’m going to hit the sack early.”

It works beautifully. My family is great–willing to pitch in, and understanding my need to take care of myself. They love to help me, and I love their help and appreciate their understanding.

Gone are the days when I felt that I needed to get up first in the morning to make coffee. Gone are the days when they felt uncomfortable as they watched me struggle trying to fix a meal for them. Gone are they days I felt too proud to ask for help. Gone are the days when they felt intimidated to offer help.

So, do yourself and everyone else a favor: Speak up, nicely. It is a win-win situation.

www.DebbieMS.com