Tag Archives: MS

The Ultimate Doctor

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“Are You Happy with Yours?”

September 24, 2012

Two days before leaving on an out-of-state vacation recently, I started having the classic symptoms of a urinary tract infection (UTI). Increased spasticity, cloudy urine, frequent urination, burning. Within a day, the symptoms intensified and worsened; my bladder medication wasn’t working and I was leaking urine uncontrollably. The heat I felt from a slight fever contributed to the mayhem of it all.

Now bladder infections are nothing to mess around with, especially if you have MS. An infection like this not only is bothersome, but more importantly, it is painful and can quickly lead to trouble like a relapse and/or kidney problems. It needs to be addressed quickly.

Having dealt with bladder problems for over two decades and having to use self cathing to void, I know what to look for and what to do. But of course, I need my doctor to get me on an antibiotic ASAP.

It was a Sunday, and I was to leave on Monday. I called the office’s answering service, explained my situation, and requested the on-call doctor to contact me. I received a call within a half of an hour from the doctor. After a brief discussion, a prescription was called into my pharmacy immediately and I had the antibiotic in my hands soon after.

Now THAT’s a good doctor. To me, anyway!

Of course I had been a patient at the office for years, but nevertheless, he addressed my problem with no hassle or waiting. But, even if I wasn’t leaving on a trip the next day, the office has worked with me on this issue before. With past UTI’s, the office helps me on the same day that I call. I know how to take a “clean-catch” urine sample at home, take it to the office for a “squeezed-in” appointment that lasts no longer than five or ten minutes, and once verified that there is a bacteria, I get a script.

Having excellent physicians when living with a chronic illness is essential. It’s a lifetime relationship that requires frequent and unexpected visits, not a once-a-year annual checkup. I have doctors that I know rank in the top 10%. And I have doctors that treat many other MS patients and understand MS.

Now when it comes finding a physician, it is an individual and personal decision. By that I mean that one has to decide what he/she wants from their doctor and what the relationship needs to be. Find doctors and professionals that treat others with MS and fit your personality.

I’ll use myself as an example. I don’t want a hand holder; I want someone I can consult with. I am not a whiner and when I call, that means I need help ASAP. I want called back that day, action within a day. I don’t want to be dragged into the office when I’m too sick to get out of bed. When I go into the office, I don’t want to wait an hour. I’ve got a fatigue problem. I want to talk to my doctor, not the receptionist. I want my doctor to be connected with the latest studies and research.

Are you happy with your physician(s)? If not, it’s time to move on and find another one. You are in charge, not the doctor. You hired the doctor, and if you are not getting satisfaction, fire him/her and get another one.

Ask yourself what you want/need from the doctor and the office, such as good bedside manners; prompt responses; office visits; follow ups; experience; reviews. Interview the office/doctor before you make the first appointment.

So how do you find a good doctor? Get referrals from: a doctor you currently have that you do like, your local MS Society Chapter, family, people you know in the health field, and other MSers. Check their background and credentials on the internet. Two websites I use are www.vitals.com and www.healthgrades.com, but there are others; you can do a Google search using a phrase like “doctor reviews and credentials” to get other websites.

Finally, a couple of other tips:

• Go to the office or call on the phone prepared. Have your questions written down, have your problems written down with specifics. You will only have fifteen minutes with your doctor, if that. Don’t expect to be educated by the doctor. Expect answers to your questions. If you have a lot to talk about, schedule a longer appointment.

• If you have MS: Realistically, the most your doctor will do for you is to prescribe medications for symptoms, encourage disease modifying agents and make recommendations to other professionals (urologists, therapists…). Don’t allow yourself to feel pressured into anything you don’t want to take or do.

• You need to feel that you trust your doctor.

www.DebbieMS.com

Needed: MS Awareness and Understanding

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“Wear that Orange Ribbon!”

August 29, 2012

Multiple Sclerosis doesn’t discriminate when it comes to who gets it. The playing field is equal.

It doesn’t matter if you are white, black, Asian, or Native American. Doesn’t matter if you are male or female, though females are 2-3 times more likely to have MS. Doesn’t matter which continent you live on, though it is more prevalent in northern latitudes. Doesn’t matter if you are young or old, though the onset is usually between the ages of twenty and fifty. And it doesn’t matter if you are rich or poor.

Even when the statistics reflect a higher percentage of occurrences in certain groups, there are still no exceptions. A person living in the tropics or a child can still develop MS.

When it comes to the types of symptoms one gets, the course of the disease, the duration of a relapse, or the amount of disability one experiences, MS doesn’t discriminate there either. No two people have the same identical case; no two people respond to treatments equally.

What is not equal is the amount of support an MSer can get depending on their financial situation. Now, before I go on, I want to make myself clear: MS as an illness is just as difficult and interfering to live with whether a person is rich or poor.

Now, having said that, here’s where inequality exists.

I am an “ordinary” person, like most persons with MS. Middle-to-low income. When my disability progressed, I had to quit my job. We were lucky to have enough money to pay bills every month, but there were no extras. Before my husband retired, I had to take care of our son, house, cooking, shopping, washing, paying bills, tax preparation, and so forth as best as I could. Now that he is retired, I am still lucky in that he helps me with all of these chores; however, we are on fixed income and each year the dollar gets squeezed more and more.

Now I don’t begrudge a person of wealthier means. They are still suffering too, and it is not anyone’s fault that they are richer than me. It’s just that I have the added stress and physical fatigue of having to do these things on my own. Of course I have the support of family and friends who lend a hand to do these things. And mental and emotional support available through MS organizations and peers.

But many times it is not enough to get through each day’s to-do list. Too often there is no safety net or easy lifeline when a job loss occurs or health insurance is lost.

I’m going to stick my neck out and say MS is harder on the “ordinary” person. The additional physical, mental, and emotional stress of an ordinary person has a negative effect on our MS both in the short and long term, probably causing our MS to be worse overall.

So, what’s my point? The point is that I want everyone to be educated about what MS is and does to an ordinary person. There are famous people in the spotlight who have MS and are creating awareness—like Montel Williams, Ann Romney, Jack Osborn. But their image doesn’t realistically project MS in the sense of the majority of us.

Many of us have been told “You look so good”, but these celebrities look too good. Again, through no fault of their own, the way media presents them causes misconceptions. So now there are two stereotypes at opposite ends of the spectrum: the dilapidated person in a wheelchair and the normal looking person so refreshed, energized and high-spirited.

The people in the middle, like the middle class, need to get into center stage for once. The “ordinary” person with MS needs a voice and attention on a national level. We have fallen through the cracks.

If someone wears a pink ribbon, everyone knows what that stands for. If it is an orange ribbon, most people wouldn’t have a clue what it stands for. The MS community needs celebrities with MS like Montel Williams to wear an orange ribbon everyday to increase awareness. The MS community also needs to wear an orange ribbon to build an identity on a daily basis. This includes the top brass of all MS Associations as well as their employees and volunteers.

But, in addition to awareness, I believe everyone needs a basic understanding of what MS really is:

MS is an unpredictable, invisible, interfering, often disabling neurological disorder that has no cure and isn’t fatal or contagious. One that impacts millions of people, lasts a lifetime, and has immense costs associated with it for every citizen in this country.

If that happens, more support for research, financial assistance, social security disability and other things will happen for multiple sclerosis.

Somehow, we ordinary people with MS who are also the majority have to band together and make this happen. Plus we need advocates at the national level as well.

So please put on your orange ribbon and spread the word!

www.DebbieMS.com

Using Perspective and Positive Thinking

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“Overcoming Hardship and Loss”
June 4, 2012

“I had to put my beloved dog down yesterday. I’d rather have him back than the use of my legs.”  That was a tweet I sent out on Friday.

My dog Bear was such a faithful companion for thirteen years.  My son brought him home and gave him to me when he was only five weeks old.  It was love at first sight, and we were inseparable after that initial bond.  He was very sick when I had to make the decision to put him down.  I know I did the right thing, but I feel such sadness and grief right now.

He was my best friend.  He always listened to me, never was mean to me, and stayed by my side no matter what mood I was in.  If I was happy, he was happy. If I was sad, he was sad.  If I left the house without him, he laid by the door until I came home.  Our favorite activity was to take a long walk around the neighborhood every morning and greet the neighbors.

I started to train him to be a therapy dog early, and he was so smart he would put his own toys away.  Bear was so patient and understood my disability. At seventy pounds, he was sturdy and still as I grabbed onto him for balance, or needed help to roll over or stand. I swear if he could push a vacuum cleaner, he would have swept my floors for me.

Dogs are amazing animals.  They are incredibly smart and their senses are keen.  They don’t complain and if treated right, are so devoted; their love is unconditional.  They want to please, and are taught to be useful and obey. They assist police, soldiers, handicapped people, and others in incredible ways.

I am using the power of perspective and positive thinking to help me through my loss:

* Bear was very seriously sick and now he is at peace.  I know in my heart, mind and gut I made the right decision.

*We had thirteen good years together, and gave each other tremendous joy.  I was lucky, but he was lucky too.  He had a lot of love from everyone whether they knew him or not.  He was always fed, walked, brushed, played with and attended to when he was sick or hurt, up until his last breath.

*So many other dogs (or cats, etc.) never have these things.  They are abused, abandoned, or neglected.  Too many loving animals that could have what Bear and I had never get that chance.  In fact, he had a better life than most people on this planet.

*Likewise, even though I have many difficulties with my MS, I also have a better life than most people. My family loves and supports me, I live in a modest but comfortable home, eat well, and have everything that I need except perfect health.  But then again, I tell myself that things could always be a lot worse.  A good friend has a Down’s syndrome daughter; another friend has a severely autistic child.  My brother-in-law lost his 16-yr. child in a bad accident…

*It’s okay to cry or vent out feelings for awhile.  It’s not being weak or emotional; it’s being human.  My husband, son and I are talking about our feelings and memories.

*I am grateful for the sensitivity and kindness others have shown in support of the loss.  What would I do without my family and friends?

Throughout the years I have suffered many hardships and losses–my physical problems from MS; death of a parent, other close relatives and friends; financial and emotional distress from job losses of both my husband and myself—the list is quite long.  I have used my perspective and positive thinking through these difficult situations to help me cope with my grief.  Things happen in life we don’t always understand or think are unfair.  I think experience, age, my MS and attitude have taught me that. It may not work for everyone, but it works for me.

So I will be sad for now but slowly heal in time to the point where my sadness will dissipate and fond memories will replace it.  I will always feel Bear’s loss, but I accept it and will continue to move forward. Life goes on and Bear would want me to go forward with it.

www.DebbieMS.com

New Beginnings in Life

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“Entering the Unknown”

May 14, 2012

I ran into my neighbor’s son yesterday and he told me that he was graduating from high school.  When I asked him if he was excited about going to the university, he admitted he was nervous.  It is out-of-state and he will know nobody.

The fear of the unknown.

As we journey through our years of life, we have many new beginnings that we will encounter, some big and some small.  Some we choose and some we don’t. Our first day of kindergarten, our first kiss, our first menses.  Our first fender-bender, marriage, house, baby and loss of a job or loved one…. The diagnosis of a disease or serious illness.   At first, we don’t know where to start or what to expect with each of these new beginnings.

Some things turn out easier than expected, and some end up being more difficult.  Many things happen to us that are unpredictable and out of our control.  We need help to figure things out, find it through a variety of means, and most of the time we learn how to manage.

As we proceed, the unknown becomes more known and the fear becomes less fearful.

A huge new beginning in my life was the onset of multiple sclerosis in 1980.  Anyone dealing with MS knows it requires constant learning and adjusting to new obstacles, lifestyles, and goals.  This incurable, complicated, and unpredictable neurological disease is a full-time job with many new beginnings in itself and lots of unknowns to face.

But I learned the ropes in managing it so that I could enjoy life, despite the setbacks.  Along the way I also had to achieve other things in life, such as motherhood, career changes, moving across the country and having to live on my own for three years while in a wheelchair.

Now I am involved with another new beginning. I chose to become an author and write a book.  Recently published, I wrote Managing MS: Straight Talk from a Thirty-One-Year Survivor for the primary goal of helping persons dealing with multiple sclerosis.  I get up close and personal when I share my experiences and expertise from my own life’s journey in this handbook.

Once again, this new frontier to explore has been a big challenge. The world of publishing and marketing books has changed drastically in recent years because of social media.  I’m slowly transforming from a dinosaur to a new chick in this technological arena and it hasn’t been easy.

Though frustrating, I’m not afraid of the unknown anymore.  I will read, experiment, and ask for help when needed in learning how to accomplish my mission.

I so desperately want to succeed, but I’ve also learned to be patient and just do my best.  Life has taught me this, particularly a life living with MS.

www.debbiems.com

 

 

 

 

What is Multiple Sclerosis (MS)?

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April 30, 2012

“The Misunderstood, Ignored, and Forgotten Disease”

I recently asked the question “How do people without MS react to you?” to an MS discussion group I belong to.  Their responses?  The same I have been hearing for decades:  We feel misunderstood, ignored, and forgotten by so many people.

Why do we feel this way? 

First, on the outside so many of us look good unless we have some kind of walking aid to indicate otherwise.  We’re not bleeding, we have good color in our faces, and we are not coughing or blowing our noses.  When we look good, people automatically assume that we are good.  I’m in a wheelchair, but I still look good and completely normal.  If I would use a store’s scooter instead of my own, I would get dirty looks.  I’m misunderstood.

But very often we are not good because so many of the symptoms are invisible.  Pain, tingling, numbness, fatigue, dizziness, tightness, depression, blurry vision, balance, coordination—the list is endless.  These symptoms interfere with everything we think, say or do.  They are annoying; they hurt; they are frustrating; and they make us crabby. For persons with MS that do or do not show visible impairment or walking aids, these symptoms are very disabling.

Invisible symptoms are difficult to describe, and when we tell someone about them it’s hard for them to understand or empathize.   Sometimes we use examples like “When I walk, it feels like I have a ten-pound weight on my ankle”, “It’s like when your arm falls asleep but never wakes up” or “My hands look normal, but I can’t button buttons.”

When we see these same people again, they forget that we have these symptoms because they are invisible.  If we talk about them, we sound like complainers.  Unless we complain about these things often, who would know we have these problems or that they continue to plague us?  And who wants a complainer around all the time?

Fatigue is the hallmark symptom of MS.  It is a universal complaint by over 90% of MS victims.  It doesn’t matter if the case is mild or advanced.  It doesn’t matter if one had a good night sleep or if the MS is not currently active. Fatigue is always present with MS, 24/7.  Why?  Fatigue exists because MS is a disease, a chronic illness, that causes other symptoms such is walking problems to intensify.  Constant fatigue leads to our moodiness or depression.  So when somebody suggests we need to get out and take our mind off things, they truly don’t understand why a sofa or bed is more desirable to us.

People without MS are often uncomfortable around us because they don’t know what to say or do.  Or because of our moods or a previous bad experience, they are unsure what kind of a response they will receive.  Others just can’t deal with it perhaps because of personal feelings like guilt. Therefore, it is often easier for them to just ignore it.

So, what can we do about it?

We need to be educators, communicators and advocates to everybody, everywhere—beginning with the basic question and a simplified, clear answer.  Forget the boring textbook medical details.  Something like this:

What is MS?

Multiple Sclerosis is an autoimmune, inflammatory disease of the central nervous system, which includes the brain, spinal cord and optic nerves.  That means that potentially anything controlled by the CNS can be affected–such as motor function, sensory function, sight, or cognitive/emotional functions.

It is not fatal, contagious, or congenital.  There is no cure; the cause is unknown. It is generally progressive.  That means that because there is no cure, the majority of persons afflicted (2.5+ million worldwide) will become disabled during the decades of their lifetime with no way to fix the damage.  Current estimates are that 20-25% will end up in a wheelchair.

From the day those of us received our diagnosis, we have no idea what course our disease will take.  What will be affected, in what way or how rapidly will we be affected, and how disabled will we become? MS is unpredictable and uncontrollable; the losses continue and the grieving process never ends.

There are treatments available that slow disease progression, and meds to help with relieving symptoms and shortening relapses.  But they all have side effects. Nothing is available yet to prevent MS or restore most function lost resulting from its damaging effects.  However, there are many things one can do to manage it effectively.

Peer-to-peer, we understand it, share our stories and how we cope with MS. We count on our peers, close family/friends and MS organizations for knowledge and support to help us manage it during our lifetime.

But we would like more.  We want everyone to know and understand what MS is about, not just be aware of MS being something that people walk for or bike for.  The more people that UNDERSTAND multiple sclerosis, the less we with MS feel we’ll be misunderstood, ignored, and forgotten.

Let’s all get started now:  hand, send or post this article to everyone you know.  Do it today!

www.debbiems.com

 

How Handicapped Accessible is Your Hotel Room?

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“Let’s Play Show and Tell”

April 17, 2012

I’m permanently in a wheelchair. When I book a hotel room, I ask my usual one hundred questions before I book a room to be sure it is accessible enough to meet my needs.

Though I am always assured that I will get what I asked for, the truth of the matter is I never get a completely handicapped accessible room. There are ADA standards that are supposed to be followed, but these basically address the spacing requirements. More often than not, the everyday decorative or necessary devices—such as lamp switches, bed height, or thermostats–are frequently overlooked.

This is troublesome, especially if I am travelling alone. What do you do to remedy the situation? Over the years I’ve learned something important: The way you approach somebody about a problem often will result in how (or if) that problem will be resolved. I know this is common sense thing, but it is true.

Earlier this year I booked a handicapped room at a hotel after I asked my one hundred questions about the room. Is there a roll-in shower; is the toilet seat raised…? One of the things I specifically asked about was the height of the bed. I know high beds are fashionable these days, but for someone in a wheelchair, this is a problem. I was assured that the bed was a normal height.

When I checked into my room, you guessed it. The bed was very high, and since I was travelling alone, there was no way I was going to be able to get in and out of it myself.

I called the front desk and asked for a manager to please come to my room, who came immediately with an assistant. I nicely demonstrated my dilemma, and asked them to take out the six or eight-inch frame and lower the bed. They did it, and made some other arrangements to the room that I needed such as rearranging furniture/other things so they were within my reach (lamps, phones…) I graciously thanked the manager and she graciously thanked me for being so nice about it, adding that many people are so rude and quick to complain or threaten.

Sure, I could have accused them about ADA standards but what good would it have done at the moment? I got what I wanted, plus three days of exceptional service that followed for anything I needed. Realistically, if I complained to an agency later, nothing would have ever have been done about it.

In the past I have attempted to discuss handicapped accessible room needs to higher level hotel management but needless to say, my single voice got me nowhere.

So, I recently made two videos evaluating two hotel rooms that I stayed in. Here are the links on YouTube: http://youtu.be/kAj4PoZ8MnQ and http://youtu.be/qRQlXXklYnw

Would you review these videos and give me your feedback on them? What do you agree/disagree with; what would you add, or delete?

Strength in being heard intensifies with numbers, and with more voices, maybe this time around someone will listen.

www.debbiems.com